What do you do for work?

[fingeek]

"Hey fingeek, nice to meet you... Where do you work?"

Increasingly, I'm seeing myself in a position where people ask Where do you work? What do you do? How is work?

And as I extract myself from the salaryman person into a passive investment-heavy web of goals person, I'm starting to struggle and pause with a good answer. An accurate answer is completely alien to most people (and curious to a few). The job is a ever shrinking part of what I do - And soon to be no longer a part.

How does one speak about this in a way that's quick, simple, understandable, and agreeable to the non-ERE/FIRE folk?

[jacob]

I used to say that I was a writer, but since I don't publish much at all anymore---even if I type a lot of words---calling myself a writer sounds a bit pretentious.

I tried the "I collect interest and dividends" a few times, but some people just thought I was "in between jobs". Telling them "no, I'm after jobs, as in retired" was followed by a look of disbelief and the end of that line of conversation. I guess I still look too young compared to how people imagine a retiree.

So now I say "I run an online forum about personal finance and early retirement". I try to avoid technical terms like "financial independence" because nobody knows what that is anyway. This is only problematic when I have to fill out a form that expect a one word answer or pick an answer from a table that hasn't been updated since 1993.

I think there might be a tendency or at least I had a tendency to get defensive about the question but most people don't really care about the answer. "What do you do for a living?" is just a standard opener that almost everybody can easily answer except for us. Kind like almost everybody can answer the password security questions about "what was your highschool mascot" or "who was you idol" except for us.

[chenda]

'I dabble in architecture' or 'An artist'. The latter usually results in 'oh, cool, what sort of stuff do you do ?' Further curiosity can be usually silenced by replying something like 'abstract impressionism' because no one wants to admit they don't know what it is. I've no idea either.

Amongst old money the question is 'How do you spend your time ?'

[loutfard]

My favourite uncle used to honestly answer this kind of question with "as little as possible", then start to speak about his latest projects - usually musical ones.

[Scott 2]

This question is a class check, to see if we'll peer. So I answer accordingly.


Default: "I'm not working right now." For anyone living paycheck to paycheck, this tends to end the conversation and raise some empathy.

If someone's life is their job: "but most recently I was in IT as an X." This tends to get encouragement around finding work.

If they're more of a financial peer or superior - I'll add: "the upside of tech, was making enough money to afford a break." This tends to get a knowing response or maybe a little envy.

Depending where that goes, I might add: "the break is indefinite." This can start the retirement pitfalls conversation, with its pros and cons.


Any of those can extend into what I'm doing now. I don't typically throw around the word retired, since it's too confusing. Given conventional perspectives on retirement, you're also claiming to be a multi-millionaire. Which is probably a lie and at best tacky. Rarely, someone will know about FIRE.

[chenda]

Une rentière.

[mountainFrugal]

I find that this question is most common with career obsessed people.

Artist. This produces the widest range of responses.
"What kind of art do you do?" (rarely listens or cares unless they are an artist/creative themselves). I show them my travel sketchbook.
"O are you starving then especially with all the AI art?" snicker. (surprisingly common tech-bro response). "No actually I did really well in tech and no longer need to work a regular job so I can focus on expressing myself through art."
If they are cultured at all outside of techbro-STEM (like a single humanities class, my bar is low here) then they will ask good follow-up questions where I will talk about working on the gallery. If they come from money they will ask something like: "Is the gallery all your art or are you also a collector?"

[Jean]

@chenda When you answer rentier or rentière, most french people will assume that you were born with a passive income.

I usually say I'm a mover, because altough I only work like one day a month, this is actually what I do for work.
Before I had this job, i usually said that I bought a house when I was working, and that I now rent it out. This was usually an accepted answer, and people usually ask more question out of genuine curiosity, usually, those are what do I do with my free time, or how much money do I have to live.

[mountainFrugal]

@jean I thought you were a consultant now?

[chenda]

@Jean - Interesting, I didn't know the term was still used. There isn't really an equivalent in English, in Italian I believe it is (was?) possidente.

[Jean]

@moutainfrugal
I have no customers, and I got my aspirations crushed by a successful businessman.

[fingeek]

Thanks for the answers all!

I agree that "I don't work" and "I'm retired" do not fit with most people's map of the world.

I think I'm arriving on "I work for myself", with an optional "my current focus is...". It's easy to remember as a default, and diffuses neatly unless someone is really interested in the details.

[Sclass]

I’ve had difficulties with this question since I retired in 2012.

I guess it is a class probe. I have said a number of things and they’ve had different results.

Early on - “unemployed.” Some people became genuinely worried about me.

Then my dad felt it necessary to say I was sick and disabled. “Retired” offended a lot of the people my age or older who still were working. It kept the peace. I think a lot of friendships are based on shared misery.

At dad’s funeral this spring I heard all the stories he made up about what I was currently doing. Pure fiction. I just nodded. It was pretty shocking what he had to fabricate to “keep the peace”.

My hobby is selling reproduction sewing machine parts for vintage sewing machines. Same for some old Mercedes car parts. I also sell some electronics boards that I design and manufacture in China. For lack of a better thing it’s what “I do” for anyone asking. It just makes things easier to have a cover story.

Even though it’s only a few thousand dollars of revenue it goes over a lot better than “I collect dividends”.

My wife had a funny answer for people blunt enough to ask what I do for money. “He goes to the ATM.”

[The Old Man]

Currently, I say I am retired. However, these days I look the part. In the past, I would give them my previous occupation even though I was no longer working.

I think saying something cute like "collecting dividends," "passive income," "rentier," or something similar just makes you look like a jerk. For those without money, it will just annoy them - is that your intention-to be annoying? For those with money, it just demonstrates you got no style - you are not one of them.

[grundomatic]

I like saying I'm funemployed. It seems to signal to the career crowd that I'm ok (not worrying about money) and to the fun crowd that I'm not a working stiff. If I was 100% FI I think I'd consider saying retired to signal that I'm not doing that shit ever again, but alas, I might have to.

[Lemur]

I'm a government employee. So in D.C. no one bats an eye. To anyone else, they might joke that hopefully I don't work for the IRS.

When I do retire...I have always figured a good answer would be a financial portfolio asset manager that works remote. No need to elaborate that the assets are your own lol. Not sure if anyone has tried that one or cares to.

[chenda]

For those without money, it will just annoy them - is that your intention-to be annoying? For those with money, it just demonstrates you got no style - you are not one of them.

To be clear, I was joking about called oneself a rentier...

[Laura Ingalls]

I usually say— I don’t have paid employment responsibilities at the present time.

If they ask more I tell them I used to do X or Y.
X is a higher status answer
Y is more recent

I once read that in Iceland it is a rude question ask a person his/her profession. I would be down with that.

[Frita]

Oof, like others, I have cycled through numerous responses, yielding less than satisfactory outcomes. My favorite reply is “What exactly do you want to know?” Best-case scenario, I know where the conversation is headed and can respond accordingly. Worst-case (and also a win for me), they are flummoxed to the point of scurrying away and not asking in the future.

[ertyu]

"I'm unemployed but I used to XYZ" worked for me when I was off for Covid when it came to casual acquantances. This allows people to feel comfortably superior to you, checks out with the behaviors they observe (second hand clothes, etc.), and because it is a negative topic, it's a topic others will want to move away from. "I'm unemployed but I used to XYZ" also motivates casual acquaintances to move away from the convo because they don't want to be on the hook for helping you in any way.

"I am financially independent" or "I live off my investment income" tended to result in aggressive questioning along the lines of, "yeah right, independent, I see you wearing flip-flops and second hand jeans and you don't even have a car, nice try trying to make yourself look fancy, you're not gonna fool me tho." The convo would turn into them trying to "catch me out" by asking aggressive questions about my finances.

Obviously, others' reactions will depend on the overall culture of the place, and also how close you are to those you're talking to. With closer friends I can go into "I have saved some money and I have calculated that if I spend less than 450 euros per month I'll be fine."